SLEEP

Most people would think that being a full time mom is an easy task. When I was single, and that was not so long ago, I thought so too. Taking care of your baby is something that will come naturally to mothers and you will have fun time always. Well, that is just plain wishful thinking.

It’s been two years and five months that I am a full time mom and I have to tell you it’s no easy task. Oh the motherly instinct is always there, you know when the baby is hungry, sleepy, etc. but just like in everything any person wants to do there is always a sacrifice attached to it. Having no job is no sacrifice at all since I chose to be with my kids fulltime.

What I’m sacrificing a lot lately is pure and simple deep sleep. You know, the kind of sleep when you close your eyes and it’s still night time like 10 or even 11pm and wake up refreshed and energized at around 6 to 7am. That’s the sleep I have been wishing for the last two and a half years.

Today is one of my most sleep deprived day. Louie slept at 12midnight last night and to think we were in bed at 930pm. I let him tire out on the bed, allowing him to roll over as much as he wanted to until he cried but that didn’t work. I thought that he was sleeping already by 11pm since his eyes were closed while feeding but he woke up after. Oh well. So I just let him do whatever he wanted to do in bed until he decides to sleep and finally he did. But by 2am, he wanted to feed again. Then by 4am and by 530am. And he woke up at 830am. Ugh. Since he was not crying and did not want to feed, I guess he’s full after feeding every two hours, I just closed my eyes for awhile to rest them even for a few more minutes.

Thankfully, my husband picked Louie up from bed and let me sleep for a few minutes more without worrying about the baby. Then I have to wake up, eat breakfast, take a bath, bathe Louie and make some lugaw for him. That’s my usual morning routine for the past month already.

Complaining much? Well, not really. I’m just amazed how a woman and a mother at that can somehow feel alright after all the sleep deprivation. I mean I can still get up and go and do whatever needs to be done and it’s not just limited to taking care of the baby, I’m doing the laundry, cleaning our room and at times cook for lunch or dinner. And once in a while I do bake when I have orders or when I just want to eat my desserts or my lasagna (and when hubby asks for them). I can still remember when I was in college, and being a sleepyhead I usually make up sleep whenever I can and sleep was not as deprived as it is now. Maybe I have upgraded, ha-ha.

Being a fulltime mom has its perks too. Louie’s sleeping now and what else to do? Make up some sleep, of course. Good day! ;)

HUG

The weather is terrible nowadays. It can be sunny the whole day then rain pours during the night. Like today; sunny in the early morning then it rained suddenly, the sun came out in the afternoon and tonight the rain just stopped. Gosh I’m talking about the weather. But I have to include the weather because I think it’s affecting the health today.

Hammie just had fever and is still having cough and I hope he’ll be well soon. Last week was a worrisome week for me and my husband because you can really see that Hammie was not feeling well. He looked weak. He slept a lot and wouldn’t eat. Good thing he would still drink his milk. His fever was not high but it’s there and his cough was very dry he almost lost his voice.

Being a fulltime mom, I can monitor Hammie’s condition and his medicine intake. He was still playing at times but most of the time he wants to be carried. Good thing by Saturday he was okay to go to church for an anticipated mass. My only prayer was that he would be healed. Then I got worried because by Sunday his cough was very slow in healing and the fever got high. When we got to my parents house he slept and he sweated a lot. He sweated profusely that the pillow got wet. God heard my prayer.

The next day, he was still kind of weak but we wanted to cheer him up so we brought him along the mall to buy some groceries. Before we went back to the house, we decided to buy some magazines and while my hubby and I were squatting by a shelf choosing a puzzle book, Hammie then stood between us, placed each of his arms around our necks and gave us a big hug. Well, that was a good sign that he is getting healed.

Hammie is back to his bouncy self even with a little cough. He wants to play a lot. At times I would be too tired to play but today I’m so glad he wanted to race with his mama. Thank God for hugs.

Decisions, decisions

January 5, 2011

Decisions, decisions

Today is one of those days that I got some time to reflect on my situation. And I did so much reflecting that my words would jumble up with each other and I get confused on what I really feel. So, I paused and breathed. So where I am right now? I’m a mother of two kids. A full time mom. Paused again. A wife to a great husband who is very responsible and loving not just to me but our two sons. Basically that’s it. That’s the summary of my situation right now. Sounds simple, yeah I know but as one of my Whatever shirts says – my life is based on a true story - . and of course it is. Well, whatever.

Where was I again? Ow, on my situation. Pause. Thinking. Okay, I’m in a middle of a crossroad here. And it’s so hard to choose. Or maybe I’m just scared to choose. To be or not to be? That is always the question. There are so many choices to choose from and each has its own pros and cons making it more difficult to decide. Pause. Stare into space. Think, think, think (when you have a problem, think, think, think! - from tigger and pooh) and the song is running through my head now distracting me from thinking at all. Or maybe I just want to be distracted so I don’t have to think at all. Sigh. I’ll just stare into space again until I get sense through my head….