From a Concerned Mother

March 29, 2011

video

I just added a link to the video if a 6 year old boy who joined a mini game in the show of Willie Revillame as we all know Willing Willie. Amidst the laughter and cheering of the host and audience, you can clearly see that the boy never cracked a smile. The whole time that he was talked to by the host, his facial expression was somber. And when the music was giving him the cue to start dancing, he started crying but he still danced on. Sad to say that Willie, the audience and even some viewers at home was enjoying at the expense of the boy's humiliation in national tv and now the world. Fine, he was doing it for his family because he earned some money dancing away. But dancing the way he did was utterly diminishing what little dignity he had. It was simply below the belt. And Willie continued to embarrass the boy by letting Jan-jan dance even after the talent portion and mini show was finished. For the life of me I cannot understand the boy's tita cheering him on for a mere hug and P3,000 Willie gave her. Was that the worth of her self-respect? And P10,000 was the boy's life worth?

Did they not think even for just a second what if it was their own son doing such dance? What was going on their minds while applauding for the boy?

I am a mother of two sons and they love to dance. But not the dance that Jan-jan did. That kind of dance is seen in night clubs and for adults only. Or maybe I am just trying to overlook that these kind of shows have sexy dancers doing the same dance on prime time television. That's why as much as I can I check the shows that my kids watch. For Jan-jan, it was his father and his tita who taught him such dance. I can't judge them harshly as life may be harsh to them to do such desperate moves to win some cash to augment their daily living costs sacrificing their child for a few minutes in a show. Is that what these shows push the people to do? Losing their dignity just to have some easy money. To those who are willing it can be but to do that to a child is such exploitation and harassment. People may dismiss it and forget it someday but for Jan-jan he will bring that memory to him until he grows up and I fervently hope and pray that it does not define his future.

On Weddings and Marriage

March 7, 2011

A lot of my dear friends are getting married nowadays. In just a span of three months, four of them are finally hitched. One thing I love about weddings is when the bride starts walking the aisle towards her groom. That moment really turns my heart into mush and my eyes just brim with tears. It always makes me go back to the time I did my own walk down the aisle. A feeling of overwhelming pure joy. A sense of fulfillment that no one can measure. It’s more than being in cloud 9, it was a piece of your own heavenly moment. And it’s all mine for the taking. It even gives me goose bumps while writing this, taking me back to my very own blissful moment. No matter how I describe that moment only the married ones can relate to that, sorry singles.

Weddings are great manifestations of the love shared by the couple. It‘s as if the couple have overflowing love that they need to give away their joy with relatives and friends in such a traditional way. I read love stories of people getting married saying that their story is unique, that their chemistry is just amazing and that few people ever find such love. But I would like to disagree. If that were true, then only a few would get married and settle down.

I would like to believe that couples who get married have their love story to share. I don’t want to burst anybody’s bubble by saying that you are not the only one who found love or the one to share the rest of life with or telling you that you’re love story is not far from ours, it may be unique but it’s still a story bound by love. I would like to think that all the brides who walked down the aisle felt the same joy I did. That somehow we look forward to happy ever afters even if the old married couples say otherwise. But in our own little innocent minds, we want to believe that we will have better marriages and happy at that.

Up until now I still believe that I have a happy marriage. Maybe better but definitely happy. Somehow reality sets in and you noticed a lot of things you haven’t noticed before and usually they are not so good ones. But you accept those little things as long as it doesn’t compromise with your core values. And the happy ever afters? You have them once in a while sometimes in unexpected ways. But you do get your own dose of happy ever afters. Those happy ever afters keep you sane amidst the challenges that you face in marriage life. And you do get a lot of them. And that’s when you face reality right on because you have decided to have a happy marriage. And with that you can say that you were right when you got married. Cheers! ;)

My Message to You

You, my dear friend are getting married. After years of speculating when you will take the plunge, the moment has now arrived. And I am so happy for you. I have realized that when a friend does not call on you for comfort over some fight with a boyfriend or even talk much about their relationship, it’s an indication that she has found the one. It’s like every moment they have is theirs to keep and cherish and no one else can be part of it. And being a true friend, you just wait on the sides when you are needed. A little catching up here and there will do amidst the busy schedule. I’m okay with that you see because I have gone through that too.

One thing will surely be missed are the girl time only we had when we were still silly little women talking about our lives and relationships we had. Gone are the days when we would cry over some stupid things that our boyfriends did or did not do; the days when we would giggle over some silly little things that made our hearts melt because of some unexpected gestures from the objects of our affection, which were really insignificant actions to them but to us could bring us to cloud 9; the days when we could just talk or write to each other about anything under the sun of dreams and reality and what could be; and gone are the days when we could just laugh about all these things that we did over past relationships and look forward in anticipation to that day when we finally meet our match because I already did and you will vow to yours today.

But I will be looking forward to days when we will talk about the married life; the reality and joy of it. The days when we celebrate the gift of life, when our kids become friends with each other and hopefully form the same friendships that we have; and days when we could just sit back and talk over tea (tea party? He he… iced tea!) like matured knowing women of what life is.

A wedding is just the beginning to a lifetime of commitment. It is the door to a marriage of two people who made a sacred oath to be witnesses to each others’ best and worst habits, attitudes and characters. With the world dictating to enjoy life and getting married is just a hindrance to enjoying it, it is a challenge to settle down. And I am glad to you see walk down the aisle to the person you have chosen to be your life’s witness and to be his as well. They say that communication is the key to a lasting marriage, I would agree but I can add that in order to have a harmonious relationship, compromise, not your core principles but compromise the small things if you can, don’t fuss the little stuff. And don’t forget to continue dating each other especially when you have kids already. Marriage may seem a prison to those who are afraid to get in the bandwagon but to those who have, it is a friendship that has legal benefits and then some. What more can I say? I know there is still so much to say but we’ll talk that over after today when we get to meet again for coffee or tea so for now: Congratulations and Best Wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Florian Valdez. Cheers! ;)

Louie and Me

Louie and Me

It was just one of those nights when I let Louie get tired by letting him crawl and play all he want on the bed so when he asks for milk, he will be breastfeeding his way to sleep. He’s almost seven months and he has a way of feeding on his tummy while his head is at an angle so he can breastfeed. I would always ‘correct’ his position, and place him on his side so he could feed better but last night was different. I let him feed on the position he wanted because his arm was on my back or what he could reach of my back with his little baby arm.

Finally he slept still holding the same position with his arm around my back. I was waiting for him to turn and change his position so I could move but at the same time wanting him to hold that position. It was like he was the one holding me and not the other way around assuring me of some sort. As if he was telling me not that he’ll be fine and I don’t have to worry too much. But you can’t tell that to a mother. Moms always worry, even if they can gradually let go of their children’s dependence on them.

I was thinking of calling somebody so I could have the moment captured but to no avail. My cellphone was out of reach and shouting for my hubby was out of the question, doing such will wake my baby up and could ruin the moment. I was in our room at the second floor and everybody else was in the ground floor. So I just have to keep that memory by writing it down. Oh what a little hug can do to a mom like me.