On Weddings and Marriage

March 7, 2011

A lot of my dear friends are getting married nowadays. In just a span of three months, four of them are finally hitched. One thing I love about weddings is when the bride starts walking the aisle towards her groom. That moment really turns my heart into mush and my eyes just brim with tears. It always makes me go back to the time I did my own walk down the aisle. A feeling of overwhelming pure joy. A sense of fulfillment that no one can measure. It’s more than being in cloud 9, it was a piece of your own heavenly moment. And it’s all mine for the taking. It even gives me goose bumps while writing this, taking me back to my very own blissful moment. No matter how I describe that moment only the married ones can relate to that, sorry singles.

Weddings are great manifestations of the love shared by the couple. It‘s as if the couple have overflowing love that they need to give away their joy with relatives and friends in such a traditional way. I read love stories of people getting married saying that their story is unique, that their chemistry is just amazing and that few people ever find such love. But I would like to disagree. If that were true, then only a few would get married and settle down.

I would like to believe that couples who get married have their love story to share. I don’t want to burst anybody’s bubble by saying that you are not the only one who found love or the one to share the rest of life with or telling you that you’re love story is not far from ours, it may be unique but it’s still a story bound by love. I would like to think that all the brides who walked down the aisle felt the same joy I did. That somehow we look forward to happy ever afters even if the old married couples say otherwise. But in our own little innocent minds, we want to believe that we will have better marriages and happy at that.

Up until now I still believe that I have a happy marriage. Maybe better but definitely happy. Somehow reality sets in and you noticed a lot of things you haven’t noticed before and usually they are not so good ones. But you accept those little things as long as it doesn’t compromise with your core values. And the happy ever afters? You have them once in a while sometimes in unexpected ways. But you do get your own dose of happy ever afters. Those happy ever afters keep you sane amidst the challenges that you face in marriage life. And you do get a lot of them. And that’s when you face reality right on because you have decided to have a happy marriage. And with that you can say that you were right when you got married. Cheers! ;)

My Message to You

You, my dear friend are getting married. After years of speculating when you will take the plunge, the moment has now arrived. And I am so happy for you. I have realized that when a friend does not call on you for comfort over some fight with a boyfriend or even talk much about their relationship, it’s an indication that she has found the one. It’s like every moment they have is theirs to keep and cherish and no one else can be part of it. And being a true friend, you just wait on the sides when you are needed. A little catching up here and there will do amidst the busy schedule. I’m okay with that you see because I have gone through that too.

One thing will surely be missed are the girl time only we had when we were still silly little women talking about our lives and relationships we had. Gone are the days when we would cry over some stupid things that our boyfriends did or did not do; the days when we would giggle over some silly little things that made our hearts melt because of some unexpected gestures from the objects of our affection, which were really insignificant actions to them but to us could bring us to cloud 9; the days when we could just talk or write to each other about anything under the sun of dreams and reality and what could be; and gone are the days when we could just laugh about all these things that we did over past relationships and look forward in anticipation to that day when we finally meet our match because I already did and you will vow to yours today.

But I will be looking forward to days when we will talk about the married life; the reality and joy of it. The days when we celebrate the gift of life, when our kids become friends with each other and hopefully form the same friendships that we have; and days when we could just sit back and talk over tea (tea party? He he… iced tea!) like matured knowing women of what life is.

A wedding is just the beginning to a lifetime of commitment. It is the door to a marriage of two people who made a sacred oath to be witnesses to each others’ best and worst habits, attitudes and characters. With the world dictating to enjoy life and getting married is just a hindrance to enjoying it, it is a challenge to settle down. And I am glad to you see walk down the aisle to the person you have chosen to be your life’s witness and to be his as well. They say that communication is the key to a lasting marriage, I would agree but I can add that in order to have a harmonious relationship, compromise, not your core principles but compromise the small things if you can, don’t fuss the little stuff. And don’t forget to continue dating each other especially when you have kids already. Marriage may seem a prison to those who are afraid to get in the bandwagon but to those who have, it is a friendship that has legal benefits and then some. What more can I say? I know there is still so much to say but we’ll talk that over after today when we get to meet again for coffee or tea so for now: Congratulations and Best Wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Florian Valdez. Cheers! ;)